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The List of Whales

by Carrie Ferguson

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1.
Sunlight 04:20
Sunlight I was born of royal blood but I threw it all away I left home when I was young, they couldn’t make me stay I climbed the highest mountains and I sailed the deepest seas Until I met a northern queen who pledged her love to me I loved her like water I loved her like wind I sang to her my soul but I couldn’t let her in And she could not make me settle and she would not block my flow She loved me like sunlight and then she let me go And in the west I mined for gold and wrestled grizzly bears I dove for pearl oysters and I lived on prickly pears But in the southern mountains was where I fell in love Struck in a summer rainstorm like thunder from above She loved me like water she loved me like wind She’d never take me with her only tell me where she’d been And I could not make her settle and I would not block her flow I loved her like sunlight and then I let her go Now I’ve had love of every shape and all of it was fine Sometimes it takes a few mistakes to know your own mind I’ve chosen things I thought were great that tore my soul apart Sometimes it takes a few mistakes to know your own heart So love me like water, I’ll love you like wind Sing to me your soul and I’ll take you where I’ve been My heart, it longs to settle, there’s nowhere I want to go, Let our love be sunlight so on and on it flows
2.
Arcata Song 05:03
Arcata Song I forget the fog is in a mood to wander It drifts across the town, we drown in all that water I hear the ocean singing out beyond the bay Once it covered everything, now there’s just this gray I dream of angel whales, voices deep as mountains Watch them from my window rolling south like steaming fountains Swim each day a mystery through carved and ancient boulders The ghosts of fishermen and pirates ride their mossy shoulders If I ever leave this place Let the world take me away Know that I’ll be back some day The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays The ocean comes to call you out, finds you in your bed Kisses you with salty lashes, sings into your head You wake with clammy skin, the taste of someone else’s tears She’s slipped out through the window leaving water in your ears If I ever leave this place Let the world take me away Know that I’ll be back some day The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays When I’m filled with water will you give to me your land Knit a net of kindness, fish for me with lover’s hands We’ll build our house of quartz and agate, volcanic proof of passion And when the sea comes to our door, may she always find us laughing If I ever leave this place Let the world take me away Know that I’ll be back some day The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays If I ever leave this place Let the world take me away Know that I’ll be back some day The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays
3.
On The Way To Ashfield On the way to Ashfield, you and I were singing Driving in a Volkswagen van I had a dream I met the man of your dreams He said “you got to tell her where I am” And I’m fine Every day, every time I’m fine Either way I was getting sleepy, you said that you had to pee So we pulled in to Elmer’s store Pancakes and maple cream, life is nothing but a dream So yes I’ll take a little bit more And I’m fine Every day, every time I’m fine Either way On the way to Ashfield, you and I were singing Driving in a Volkswagen van I had a dream you met the man of your dreams And everything was just like you’d planned And I’m fine Every day, every time I’m fine Either way And I’m fine Every day, every time I’m fine Either way
4.
The List of Whales They say “we’ve never seen it, we’ve only heard it sing Deep in the dark, somewhere out there swimming By the size of it’s voice, if could be bigger than the Blue It only sings one word, with all it’s might it thunders “Bloop” Love, sing me the list of whales, fragile and strong, a mysterious song It’s the list of whales And there is something that we need But we can not remember With your lungs full of sky, and your hair full of leaves On this October afternoon it’s hard to believe The ocean keeps its secrets, but memories flow through our blood Fossils tell their stories, voices frozen in the mud Love, sing me the list of whales, deep and dark, your ancient heart Knows the list of whales And there is something that we know But we can not remember Now we live in our cities, forget our six degrees Don’t remember when the ancients crawled back into the seas Everything is changing, is nothing built to last? Remember what we treasure as it slips away so fast... Love, sing me the list of whales, fragile and strong, a mysterious song It’s the list of whales And there is something that we love Sing me the list of whales, deep and dark, your ancient heart Knows the list of whales And there is something we must do And then we do remember
5.
Sealie 03:41
Sealie Oh Sealie, do you feel alone? Like something’s missing, your house is not a home You try so hard everyday to make it work You try so hard to make it work Oh Sealie, there is nothing wrong Just an old familiar shadow singing you its song And you try so hard every day to let it go You try so hard to let it go You can see the mountains from your house You can watch the stars come out Someday maybe you will figure it all out Oh Sealie, you are not alone This love is stronger than any thing we’ve known And we laugh so hard every day ‘til it hurts We laugh so hard every day though it hurts We laugh so hard every day We can see the mountains from your house We can watch the stars come out Someday we’ll stop trying to figure it all out
6.
Thomas' Horse Twilight, I’m riding down on Thomas’ horse Across the ridge, down through the green of the darkening trees After work I wash my face in the cold well water My father’s shirt, my favorite belt, then I leave the farm behind I know she waits for me in the lamp light shadow She left her family’s house to meet me there All I am and all I’ll be is always for her Tonight we ride to find the world beyond I’ve never seen the sea, I’ve never seen the sea Twilight, I’m riding down on Thomas’ horse Across the ridge, down through the green of the darkening trees Everything I’ve ever known is all these mountains Everything is opening and she is by my side I’ve never seen the sea, I’ve never seen the sea
7.
Wooden Nickel We were up in this bus and it whizzed through the sky I lost track of how often the world went by But it was crowded and they were looking at me Said “Honey, it’s time to be all you can be” So they gave me a skin and a sack full of bones “Don’t worry you won’t be alone” And they pushed me out the window and I landed here And now I don’t know what I’m doing And if I ever get back I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so Things would be much better If we could just remember what we already know I went down to the river, it was already crowded Poets and prophets singing the blues Seems like every good story has already been told But you get what you’re given and you can’t always choose You can live like a saint or a criminal and a fraud Make a pact with the devil or a deal with God One is stubborn and the other is fickle But they’re just two sides of the same wooden nickel And if I ever get back I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so Things would be much better If we could just remember what we already know Well, I think it’s all this falling puts the shrug into our shoulders Martyrs die of patience on the mountain pushing boulders It’s a practical joke when you’re not in the mood It’s the kind of gift that makes you choke on your food You know you gotta take it with a good attitude So you force yourself to laugh, you don’t want to be rude And if I ever get back I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so Things would be much better If we could just remember what we already know So I tried to make it work, I tried to figure it out Was there a plan or a purpose I forgot about? I lost my map and operating instructions I need a thirty second mission message self-destruction
8.
Song for My Addiction I’ve got this hole, its bigger than you see I had a heart but it fell off of my sleeve I want to run but I can’t seem to leave I try to sing but I can’t even breathe Hard to stand still when your body is itching Hard to look honest when your face keeps twitching Give me a name for this terrible affliction And la la la la la this is a song for my addiction I’ve got some courage, it’s fear that makes me brave I made my bed now I’m digging my own grave Thinking is like drinking, just take one more sip And if you listen to your head your mind will start to slip Hard to be happy when you’re stuck in this depression Hard to be friendly when you’re feeling this aggression Give me some kind of positive expression And la la la la la this is a song for my obsession Hard to be present when you’re listening to these voices Hard to decide when you’re plagued by all these choices List your credentials and I’ll list my diagnoses And la la la la la this is a song for my psychosis Hard to stand still when your body is itching Hard to look honest when your face keeps twitching Give me a name for this terrible affliction And la la la la la this is a song for my addiction
9.
Food Song 01:47
Food Song Food is always the setting for our tense, infrequent meetings It mediates our arguments and buffers the leaving I know I have a bone to pick with you but it gets stuck in my throat Instead, I say “please pass the bread”, and laugh at your stupid joke Well I’ve finally managed to gain back all that weight I lost when I was with you even though she ate and ate It was like you had stolen my stomach with my heart And no matter how much I stuffed my face I just couldn’t fill up all of that space I’m not sure if I can love someone who plans to love me back I’m not used to reciprocity, makes me feel my love is lacking Some thing that makes it real, “this is not how true love feels It doesn’t hurt enough, it doesn’t smart enough” Good love is bread and jam to me, i’ts hearty and its sweet It feeds me when I’m hungry and I can never over eat It makes my fingers sticky and leaves stains around my mouth I’m through with all that fasting, throw those diet pills out I know where my bread is buttered, now I’m speaking tongue and cheek I’ve given up that bitter gin and tonic for something much more sweet You might be spicy and expensive and look good on the plate But you’re not the best meal, no, you’re not the best meal I ever ate.
10.
Stretchmarks 04:26
Stretchmarks Once you had gone, the space left behind Was smaller than I’d expected to find So I went to the edge of that hole And I looked right in The edges weren’t bloody, just stretch-marked and scarred So I stuck my head in and I listened hard Cause down at the bottom I thought I heard somebody singing I’m the last one, I’m the first one I’m the only one here I’m not broken, just forgotten But I’ve always been clear Everyone talks about trying to find balance Between the way that we want it and the way that it is Sooner or later compromise comes up Some things you find elsewhere, some things you give up But I’ve made myself sick trying to stick in a middle Where the part that I’ve left for myself is too little And times when I find I’m too close to that edge I hear that voice whisper “Are we having fun yet?” So I’m practicing no til I recognize yes And when I can’t tell then I’ll just have to guess And I’m gulping my air to make up for lost time And I’m flapping my arms cause I know I can fly And I plan to look foolish as long as I need to Cause, I’m the last one, I’m the first one I’m the only one here I’m not broken, just forgotten But I’ve always been clear I’m the last one, I’m the first one I’m the only one here If you let me, I can show you Cause I’ve always been clear Once you had gone, the space left behind Was smaller than I’d expected to find So I went to the edge of that hole And I looked right in
11.
Grandmother Tree There’s a girl who lives in the forest In a garden she’s borrowed from the land Sometimes squirrels and birds come to visit They let her feed them right from her hand But there’s a secret she’s hiding She keeps it even from herself All the worry she carries Belongs to someone else In the morning she goes walking Up the hill to the grandmother tree As she lies there she listens To the voice she hears singing in the leaves Tell me the story of your heart Breathe out all the lies that they told you Let the new story start You can rest while I hold you There’s a girl who lives in the forest In a garden she’s borrowed from the land She’s the one that I love She’s the one with the kind, gentle hands Tell me the story of your heart Breathe out, and let all your hope in Let the new story start How much can you open?
12.
To the Moon 04:10
To the Moon I saw all the dreams of lonely lovers hanging in the sky I heard all their voices, all their colors just asking “why”? I’m going to drive this ship to the moon And I hope I get there They say anything that you can say Someone has probably said before And anything that you can do Someone has probably done it more I’m going to drive this ship to the moon And I hope I get there soon Who knows all the reasons For the stories that we tell ourselves? Why keep a lonely secret of the heart If it makes you unwell? I’m going to drive this ship to the moon And I hope I get there soon You can meet me there We will make our own air We will make our own air We will make our own air Why tell yourself it will be hard Why not tell yourself it will be easy?

about

"Devilishly catchy folk-pop tunes and melodic ballads, exuberantly heartfelt lyrics...infectious joy"
- The Valley Advocate

The List of Whales, Carrie Ferguson’s second full-length studio album, bridges genres with a dreamy mix of folk-pop and indie rock all held together by Ferguson’s addictively catchy melodies and vivid, carefully crafted lyrics.

Called by the Greenfield Recorder, “beautifully produced ...impeccably arranged” the 12 song CD was produced, mixed and engineered by Garrett Sawyer at his Amherst, MA studio, Northfire Recording Studios. Sawyer’s vibrant arrangements range from toe-tapping and dub-infused (Song For My Addiction) to lush horn, string and vocal arrangements (On the Way to Ashfield, The List of Whales), to moments of beautiful acoustic intimacy (Sealie, To the Moon).

As on her first record, Riding On the Back Of the Wind, Ferguson continues to explore her favorite themes and settings: the landscapes of Northern California and New England (Arcata Song, Grandmother Tree), the complexities of human relationships with each other and the natural world (The List of Whales), the bemusing fact of impermanence in all things (Stretchmarks), and the spiritual quest for self-understanding as a rollicking adventure (Wooden Nickel, Sunlight). All are present in this collection along with hefty doses of her trademark melancholic joy, humor and playfulness.

The record features an all-star cast of Western MA musicians including Jim Henry (Mary Chapin, Tracy Grammer) on guitar and mandolin, Zoe Darrow (Zoe Darrow and the Fiddleheads) on violin, Stephen Katz on cello, Steve Yarbro (The Primate Fiasco) on saxophone and clarinet, and JJ O’Connell (Heather Maloney) on drums.

Ferguson celebrated the release of The List of Whales on January 5, 2014 with a sold-out show at The Iron Horse Music Hall, in Northampton, MA. The release marks the culmination of a year-long project which began in the Fall of of 2012 when Ferguson raised $8,500 using the using the online crowdfunding platform Indiegogo.

credits

released January 5, 2014

All songs written by Carrie Ferguson
Produced by Garrett Sawyer
Recorded and Mixed by Garrett Sawyer, at Northfire Recording Studios, Amherst, MA
Mastered by Jay Frigoletto for Mastersuite

Carrie Ferguson - Lead Vocals, Piano, Acoustic Guitar (8, 12), F.B.Organ (2)
Brian Bender - Trombone (1, 11)
Garrett Sawyer - Electric Bass, Stand Up Bass, F.B. Organ (2), Fiddle-Picker (4)
J.J. O’ Connell - Drums and Percussion
Jim Henry - Electric/Acoustic Guitars, Mandolin
Micah Maurio - Trumpet (11)
Ryan Hommel - Electric Guitar (5)
Stephen Katz - Cello
Steve Yarbro - Clarinet (5), Saxophone (11)
Zoe Darrow - Violin

Harmonies - J.J. O’Connell (2, 3, 7, 10); Elizabeth Donahue (1, 2, 3, 5, 10, 12); Garrett Sawyer (6, 12)
Choir (track 11): Chris Scanlon, Emma Ayers, Eli Ayers, Elizabeth Donahue, Stella Green Sanderson, Zoe Langsdale

Photography - Glenn Koetzner
Art - Carrie Ferguson
Graphic Design - Nur Habib

“To The Moon” is dedicated to Tom Rotello

Thank you, Seal, my love.
Thank you, Garrett Sawyer for you generosity, beautiful ideas, and meticulous ears!
Thanks to Jay Metcalf and Northfire for believing in this project!
Thanks to all the amazing folks who played and sang on this record!
Thanks to Glenn Koetzner for your generosity and beautiful photos.
Special thanks to Jane Stephenson, Leslie Chaison, Joel Dundorf, Paul Gulla, Sam Stegeman, Steve Freiman, Tracey Levy, and Zoe Howard for helping to make this record possible!

A HUGE THANK YOU: To everyone who contributed through Indigogo!
AND for support in many ways: Frances and Francis Ferguson, Caleb Shelburne and family, Carrie Rubinstein and family, Chris Scanlon, Charlotte Haines, Denise Danforth, Doug Howard and Andrea Chase, Elizabeth Donahue and family, Emily Breines, Eric Ferguson, June and the Bee, Kendra Rosenblatt and family, Marianne Hurley, Nur Habib, the Sawyer family, Sarah Getoff, Seal LaMadeleine and family, Shoshana Narva and family, the Snow Farm folks, Span of Sunshine, Sophia Getoff-Scanlon, Stella Green Sanderson, Tom Knight, Tommy and Jessica Byrnes, the Wolfwoods.

The List of Whales
Copyright 2014
ASCAP
Carrie Ferguson, Walking Songs Music

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Carrie Ferguson Northampton, Massachusetts

Carrie grew up playing an enormous upright, chocolate-brown piano. It had a darkly booming, slightly furry quality to it, like the weather in her hometown of Arcata on the North Coast of California. Ferguson credits its sonorous voice, combined with the perpetual fog and clamminess as instilling in her the baseline aesthetic of melancholic optimism that permeates her words and music today. ... more

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