1. |
Sunlight
04:20
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Sunlight
I was born of royal blood but I threw it all away
I left home when I was young, they couldn’t make me stay
I climbed the highest mountains and I sailed the deepest seas
Until I met a northern queen who pledged her love to me
I loved her like water I loved her like wind
I sang to her my soul but I couldn’t let her in
And she could not make me settle and she would not block my flow
She loved me like sunlight and then she let me go
And in the west I mined for gold and wrestled grizzly bears
I dove for pearl oysters and I lived on prickly pears
But in the southern mountains was where I fell in love
Struck in a summer rainstorm like thunder from above
She loved me like water she loved me like wind
She’d never take me with her only tell me where she’d been
And I could not make her settle and I would not block her flow
I loved her like sunlight and then I let her go
Now I’ve had love of every shape and all of it was fine
Sometimes it takes a few mistakes to know your own mind
I’ve chosen things I thought were great that tore my soul apart
Sometimes it takes a few mistakes to know your own heart
So love me like water, I’ll love you like wind
Sing to me your soul and I’ll take you where I’ve been
My heart, it longs to settle, there’s nowhere I want to go,
Let our love be sunlight so on and on it flows
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2. |
Arcata Song
05:03
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Arcata Song
I forget the fog is in a mood to wander
It drifts across the town, we drown in all that water
I hear the ocean singing out beyond the bay
Once it covered everything, now there’s just this gray
I dream of angel whales, voices deep as mountains
Watch them from my window rolling south like steaming fountains
Swim each day a mystery through carved and ancient boulders
The ghosts of fishermen and pirates ride their mossy shoulders
If I ever leave this place
Let the world take me away
Know that I’ll be back some day
The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays
The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays
The ocean comes to call you out, finds you in your bed
Kisses you with salty lashes, sings into your head
You wake with clammy skin, the taste of someone else’s tears
She’s slipped out through the window leaving water in your ears
If I ever leave this place
Let the world take me away
Know that I’ll be back some day
The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays
The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays
When I’m filled with water will you give to me your land
Knit a net of kindness, fish for me with lover’s hands
We’ll build our house of quartz and agate, volcanic proof of passion
And when the sea comes to our door, may she always find us laughing
If I ever leave this place
Let the world take me away
Know that I’ll be back some day
The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays
If I ever leave this place
Let the world take me away
Know that I’ll be back some day
The tide can leave its mark but the water never stays
The tide can leave its mark but the water always stays
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3. |
On The Way To Ashfield
03:08
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On The Way To Ashfield
On the way to Ashfield, you and I were singing
Driving in a Volkswagen van
I had a dream I met the man of your dreams
He said “you got to tell her where I am”
And I’m fine
Every day, every time
I’m fine
Either way
I was getting sleepy, you said that you had to pee
So we pulled in to Elmer’s store
Pancakes and maple cream, life is nothing but a dream
So yes I’ll take a little bit more
And I’m fine
Every day, every time
I’m fine
Either way
On the way to Ashfield, you and I were singing
Driving in a Volkswagen van
I had a dream you met the man of your dreams
And everything was just like you’d planned
And I’m fine
Every day, every time
I’m fine
Either way
And I’m fine
Every day, every time
I’m fine
Either way
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4. |
The List of Whales
04:11
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The List of Whales
They say “we’ve never seen it, we’ve only heard it sing
Deep in the dark, somewhere out there swimming
By the size of it’s voice, if could be bigger than the Blue
It only sings one word, with all it’s might it thunders “Bloop”
Love, sing me the list of whales, fragile and strong, a mysterious song
It’s the list of whales
And there is something that we need
But we can not remember
With your lungs full of sky, and your hair full of leaves
On this October afternoon it’s hard to believe
The ocean keeps its secrets, but memories flow through our blood
Fossils tell their stories, voices frozen in the mud
Love, sing me the list of whales, deep and dark, your ancient heart
Knows the list of whales
And there is something that we know
But we can not remember
Now we live in our cities, forget our six degrees
Don’t remember when the ancients crawled back into the seas
Everything is changing, is nothing built to last?
Remember what we treasure as it slips away so fast...
Love, sing me the list of whales, fragile and strong, a mysterious song
It’s the list of whales
And there is something that we love
Sing me the list of whales, deep and dark, your ancient heart
Knows the list of whales
And there is something we must do
And then we do remember
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5. |
Sealie
03:41
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Sealie
Oh Sealie, do you feel alone?
Like something’s missing, your house is not a home
You try so hard everyday to make it work
You try so hard to make it work
Oh Sealie, there is nothing wrong
Just an old familiar shadow singing you its song
And you try so hard every day to let it go
You try so hard to let it go
You can see the mountains from your house
You can watch the stars come out
Someday maybe you will figure it all out
Oh Sealie, you are not alone
This love is stronger than any thing we’ve known
And we laugh so hard every day ‘til it hurts
We laugh so hard every day though it hurts
We laugh so hard every day
We can see the mountains from your house
We can watch the stars come out
Someday we’ll stop trying to figure it all out
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6. |
Thomas' Horse
03:52
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Thomas' Horse
Twilight, I’m riding down on Thomas’ horse
Across the ridge, down through the green of the darkening trees
After work I wash my face in the cold well water
My father’s shirt, my favorite belt, then I leave the farm behind
I know she waits for me in the lamp light shadow
She left her family’s house to meet me there
All I am and all I’ll be is always for her
Tonight we ride to find the world beyond
I’ve never seen the sea, I’ve never seen the sea
Twilight, I’m riding down on Thomas’ horse
Across the ridge, down through the green of the darkening trees
Everything I’ve ever known is all these mountains
Everything is opening and she is by my side
I’ve never seen the sea, I’ve never seen the sea
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7. |
Wooden Nickel
03:44
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Wooden Nickel
We were up in this bus and it whizzed through the sky
I lost track of how often the world went by
But it was crowded and they were looking at me
Said “Honey, it’s time to be all you can be”
So they gave me a skin and a sack full of bones
“Don’t worry you won’t be alone”
And they pushed me out the window and I landed here
And now I don’t know what I’m doing
And if I ever get back
I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so
Things would be much better
If we could just remember what we already know
I went down to the river, it was already crowded
Poets and prophets singing the blues
Seems like every good story has already been told
But you get what you’re given and you can’t always choose
You can live like a saint or a criminal and a fraud
Make a pact with the devil or a deal with God
One is stubborn and the other is fickle
But they’re just two sides of the same wooden nickel
And if I ever get back
I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so
Things would be much better
If we could just remember what we already know
Well, I think it’s all this falling puts the shrug into our shoulders
Martyrs die of patience on the mountain pushing boulders
It’s a practical joke when you’re not in the mood
It’s the kind of gift that makes you choke on your food
You know you gotta take it with a good attitude
So you force yourself to laugh, you don’t want to be rude
And if I ever get back
I’ll tell ‘em that I saw you and you’re doing so so
Things would be much better
If we could just remember what we already know
So I tried to make it work, I tried to figure it out
Was there a plan or a purpose I forgot about?
I lost my map and operating instructions
I need a thirty second mission message self-destruction
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8. |
Song for My Addiction
03:08
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Song for My Addiction
I’ve got this hole, its bigger than you see
I had a heart but it fell off of my sleeve
I want to run but I can’t seem to leave
I try to sing but I can’t even breathe
Hard to stand still when your body is itching
Hard to look honest when your face keeps twitching
Give me a name for this terrible affliction
And la la la la la this is a song for my addiction
I’ve got some courage, it’s fear that makes me brave
I made my bed now I’m digging my own grave
Thinking is like drinking, just take one more sip
And if you listen to your head your mind will start to slip
Hard to be happy when you’re stuck in this depression
Hard to be friendly when you’re feeling this aggression
Give me some kind of positive expression
And la la la la la this is a song for my obsession
Hard to be present when you’re listening to these voices
Hard to decide when you’re plagued by all these choices
List your credentials and I’ll list my diagnoses
And la la la la la this is a song for my psychosis
Hard to stand still when your body is itching
Hard to look honest when your face keeps twitching
Give me a name for this terrible affliction
And la la la la la this is a song for my addiction
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9. |
Food Song
01:47
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Food Song
Food is always the setting for our tense, infrequent meetings
It mediates our arguments and buffers the leaving
I know I have a bone to pick with you but it gets stuck in my throat
Instead, I say “please pass the bread”, and laugh at your stupid joke
Well I’ve finally managed to gain back all that weight
I lost when I was with you even though she ate and ate
It was like you had stolen my stomach with my heart
And no matter how much I stuffed my face
I just couldn’t fill up all of that space
I’m not sure if I can love someone who plans to love me back
I’m not used to reciprocity, makes me feel my love is lacking
Some thing that makes it real, “this is not how true love feels
It doesn’t hurt enough, it doesn’t smart enough”
Good love is bread and jam to me, i’ts hearty and its sweet
It feeds me when I’m hungry and I can never over eat
It makes my fingers sticky and leaves stains around my mouth
I’m through with all that fasting, throw those diet pills out
I know where my bread is buttered, now I’m speaking tongue and cheek
I’ve given up that bitter gin and tonic for something much more sweet
You might be spicy and expensive and look good on the plate
But you’re not the best meal, no, you’re not the best meal
I ever ate.
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10. |
Stretchmarks
04:26
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Stretchmarks
Once you had gone, the space left behind
Was smaller than I’d expected to find
So I went to the edge of that hole
And I looked right in
The edges weren’t bloody, just stretch-marked and scarred
So I stuck my head in and I listened hard
Cause down at the bottom
I thought I heard somebody singing
I’m the last one, I’m the first one
I’m the only one here
I’m not broken, just forgotten
But I’ve always been clear
Everyone talks about trying to find balance
Between the way that we want it and the way that it is
Sooner or later compromise comes up
Some things you find elsewhere, some things you give up
But I’ve made myself sick trying to stick in a middle
Where the part that I’ve left for myself is too little
And times when I find I’m too close to that edge
I hear that voice whisper “Are we having fun yet?”
So I’m practicing no til I recognize yes
And when I can’t tell then I’ll just have to guess
And I’m gulping my air to make up for lost time
And I’m flapping my arms cause I know I can fly
And I plan to look foolish as long as I need to
Cause, I’m the last one, I’m the first one
I’m the only one here
I’m not broken, just forgotten
But I’ve always been clear
I’m the last one, I’m the first one
I’m the only one here
If you let me, I can show you
Cause I’ve always been clear
Once you had gone, the space left behind
Was smaller than I’d expected to find
So I went to the edge of that hole
And I looked right in
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11. |
Grandmother Tree
05:21
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Grandmother Tree
There’s a girl who lives in the forest
In a garden she’s borrowed from the land
Sometimes squirrels and birds come to visit
They let her feed them right from her hand
But there’s a secret she’s hiding
She keeps it even from herself
All the worry she carries
Belongs to someone else
In the morning she goes walking
Up the hill to the grandmother tree
As she lies there she listens
To the voice she hears singing in the leaves
Tell me the story of your heart
Breathe out all the lies that they told you
Let the new story start
You can rest while I hold you
There’s a girl who lives in the forest
In a garden she’s borrowed from the land
She’s the one that I love
She’s the one with the kind, gentle hands
Tell me the story of your heart
Breathe out, and let all your hope in
Let the new story start
How much can you open?
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12. |
To the Moon
04:10
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To the Moon
I saw all the dreams of lonely lovers hanging in the sky
I heard all their voices, all their colors just asking “why”?
I’m going to drive this ship to the moon
And I hope I get there
They say anything that you can say
Someone has probably said before
And anything that you can do
Someone has probably done it more
I’m going to drive this ship to the moon
And I hope I get there soon
Who knows all the reasons
For the stories that we tell ourselves?
Why keep a lonely secret of the heart
If it makes you unwell?
I’m going to drive this ship to the moon
And I hope I get there soon
You can meet me there
We will make our own air
We will make our own air
We will make our own air
Why tell yourself it will be hard
Why not tell yourself it will be easy?
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Carrie Ferguson Northampton, Massachusetts
Carrie grew up playing an enormous upright, chocolate-brown piano. It had a darkly booming, slightly furry quality to it, like the weather in her hometown of Arcata on the North Coast of California. Ferguson credits its sonorous voice, combined with the perpetual fog and clamminess as instilling in her the baseline aesthetic of melancholic optimism that permeates her words and music today. ... more
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